Don't Label My Child - Accepting the Diagnosis and Services for Your Child with Special Needs

To observe your child lag behind his/her peers is a pressure filled, insecurity fueling experience. While its important to filter out the at-times-meddlesome suggestions of family members and the unsolicited advice from teachers, it's also important to consider what they are saying to you. Every parent needs to be aware of the appropriate developmental milestones of children for which there is a plethora of information on. However so many families "hold off" on having their child evaluated for fear that the child will be "labeled".

The reality is that everyone is "labeled" something everywhere they go. Maybe you're the "funny" member of your family or the "tough" one at work. Of course there is so much more to you than that. Its the same when your child is given a diagnosis. If your child is displaying symptoms of Autism, for example, but we called it "Puzzle-Head Syndrome" does it change what your child's struggles are? It's so important to focus more on the goals the evaluations outline. These goals will bring your child closer to age appropriate levels. Without accepting the diagnosis and services, your child will continue to struggle and will be labeled something regardless. Is it better for your child to be known as "the one who doesn't talk", "the kid who cries a lot", or "the bully?

In speaking with a parent, a registered nurse who struggled with accepting her son's diagnosis of Mild-Moderate Autism she confessed the following: "I would have felt less scared and hopeless had they told me my child had luekimia." This sounded insane to me at first but then she explained. Luekimia has a course of treatment that she could understand. And he could potentially be cured. I could see her point. It's interesting how if a child has a cold, or asthma, or allergies, we as parents are on top of it, making the doctor's appointments and filling the prescriptions. But why is it that when our children display troubling behaviors, learning disabilities, or developmental delays that we "hold off" on having them evaluated and reject the services that are offered (for free through the Board of Education)?

As an evaluation representative for a New York based agency, I come into frequent contact with families who are in denial of their children's developmental delays. At times meetings have ended in threats, insults and even tears. It's ok to feel discouraged and tempting to feel like in some way you have failed as a parent but its essential to shelve those impulses and take a more procative approach to helping your child grow and develope. The evaluation process is comprised of multiple standarized tests that determine the functioning level of your child. According to the New York City Board Of Education a child must present with a 33% delay in 1 developmental area, or a 25% delay in 2 developmental areas to qualify for services. By initiating a proper evaluation for your child, the worst thing that can happen is that your child gets the help they need.